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this was the winter of my seventeenth year the experience that changed my life

i met this girl she was a year older we had alot in common she was sexually abused when she was young as well

she had tawny brown hair and the most energetic brown eyes

we would talk about everything she knew about my charlie and my far far away place i go when i need to

she hated that didnt like sex and that i couldnt understand what the big deal about it was and that i would go far far away when i did have it

on this night it was very cold and almost icy

she picked me up with one of her few boyfriends i was going to spend a night with her that way we could stay out all night if we wanted to

we cruised and drank cheap been and smoked alot of dope went to a party for awhile got bored and cruised to our favorite place which was under the bridge we turned the music up i think it was ac/dc we dance around a fire that we made when u live in the country u always have blankets because most of the time u partied outside

the next thing i knew was i was laying down and trish and joe were making out so i thought i would go to sleep and give them privacy

trish had more in mind she wanted to help me get over my fobia of sex i would learn later when i aroused i was suprised that she was taking my shirt off and joe was pulling at hers as they undressed me and themselves they started to worship my body i was atingle she would whisper stay here dont go far far away stay we kissed and felt and made love she guided joe here and there and i was so aflame i didnt want to leave and when i thought i couldnt feel any better she whispered in my ear i love u and at that moment i had my first orgasm god i never experienced anything like that before i was really enjoying this and i didnt go far far away as we had sex until we fell asleep the morning and the cold woke us up and joe took us to trish's home we went inside and i was in the shower and she got in with me she taught me to enjoy sex and to know that there was more to it than just giving and getting nothing back that winter and the rest of the summer trish took me on an odessey of desire and i love her for it i would never know that there would be such joy and pleasure in it and if u dont understand what i mean then i am sorry and it is ok

thanks trish where ever u r baby love ya bunches

COMMENTS

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Angelus
02:08 Jan 27 2008

both my fiancee had been abused, by family.

I'm so in awe of you for putting this up.

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dabbler
01:27 Feb 03 2008

those moments....sigh

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POST COMMENT

every year i dread the christmas holidays because of a series of events that happened to me as a child

my grandmother and grandfather raised me they did the best they could as they knew how anyway my grandmother was bipolar at the time she just called them her spells she would get really mean during her spells awful mean

with this in mind i created an imaginary friend named my charlie the weird thing is i dont remember when he wasnt around he taught me to go far far away when things happened to me i could not handle

this particular december my meemaw was sewing me the most beautiful christmas dress red velvet with white lace so beautiful for midnight mas

as she was pinning the hem i loved her so at that moment and was loving looking at her when she glanced up and i knew right away she was having a spell she said WHY ARE U LOOKING LIKE THAT GODDAMMIT and she picked up a metal ruler and began to whip me with it my charlie came to the rescue and said say it say it thats all u have to do and being a small child i did but i did not know i said it aloud GO FAR FAR AWAY she slapped my face and said WHAT DID U SAY and i went far far away came back when things were better

i never looked at her like that again

the second event in this december my uncle sexually molested me

he did that until i was nine the first time i was five this is the time i am talking about

my charlie told me to tell after this first time so i told my uncles wife my aunt sitting on the sofa with him and my aunt my charlie standing by me

my aunt said U LITTLE BITCH U R UGLY GET AWAY FROM ME

i ran crying mad at my charlie for making me tell well i never told again what was the use in that i went far far away for days after that running on auto pilot a slap to the face a time or to because i wasnt paying attention but was blissfully in far far away

the other event this december was the stepson of a different uncle did it all of the kids were playing hide and seek and u guessed it he wanted to "hide with me" i did not want to at that point males bigger than me scared me so with protest he dragged me to a closet put his hand over my mouth and did my butt it hurt so bad worse that the other my charlie hugged me and i didnt even have to say it we went far far away my charlie held me for a long time even after it was over i didnt tell anyone what was the use i thought it was all my fault i guess i did something wrong

so i guess that is why i dont like this particular holiday it is was so hard pretending to be merry during this time of year but i got really good at it

i got really good seeing what people were thinking by looking at their eyes and face not like esp but the mood and how i should act when i saw it

i dont see my charlie anymore but i can still go far far away not like when i was a kid but it is my happy place

life is good now all of those people are dead and i am older and turned into a pretty decent and caring person inspite of it all because i wanted to be a good person a good parent and all

thank you my charlie for helping me grow up and being there when i needed u all is good for me right now AMEN